Type of conflicts between parents and children and how you can resolve them
Conflict between parents and children are normal these days either due to the parent’s high expectations or children’s personal interests. Being in the teaching field for the past 10 years, I have discovered that most of the conflicts between parents and children take place because the parents force their children to pursue the career that they desire rather than the natural abilities and inclination of the child.
But this isn’t it, I have researched and found three common conflicts and how you can resolve them easily. Keep reading!
- Unavoidable Conflict
This is the most common type of conflict between a child and parent because it is not possible for parent to listen and be around the child every time they need. Sometimes parents are preoccupied and cannot be attentive or sensible towards the child. Due to business parents might behave aggressively towards the child in such situation which results in the child being disheartened and he tends to keep distance from the parent.
How to solve such a conflict between parent and child?
So, you might be wondering how to solve such type of conflict between the parent and child? First, keep this in mind that you are an adult and all the repair begin with you and not the child. Children will never come to you to seek the repair as they are children after all, and they are not mature yet. In short, you need to put your ego aside to build positive relationship with your child. I understand that you are a human as well and you have emotions too but once your emotions are settled, your anger is gone, sit with the child in a polite manner and discuss with them what they need. If they desire for something that is not unlawful then fulfill their request.
- Conflict Arises when you set limitations
When you set boundaries for your children, naturally conflict will arise. The surroundings are tempting, and children are not aware of the good and bad, right and wrong due to which they might cross the limit you set for them. They will always tend to do the things you stop them from because they are not mature yet.
How to solve such a conflict between parent and child?
There has to be a reasoning behind every limitation. Educate your child about that reasoning. If you are stopping from playing outside tell them why you are doing it and at the same time provide them an alternative to settle their cravings for the play. An alternative is very important if you are imposing limitations over your child. If your child plays games too much on tablet then you need to provide an alternative, either you take them out or you play with them for some time to keep them busy in something. Promote healthy games within the home or outside in an amusement park.
- Conflict That Results in Disconnection
This is also known as intense conflict where which results in the disconnection between the child and the parent. This conflict takes place when the parent losses control of his/her nerves and start beating the child, screaming, shouting at them or name calling. This type of parent’s behavior accompanies shame for the child due to which the child gets disconnected from the parent and becomes stubborn.
How to solve such a conflict between parent and child?
Let me explain this with an example. Let’s say you are in a party and your child is misbehaving in a sense that is shameful for you in the presence of others, so you start screaming or beating him in front of the gathering. This type of behavior will adversely impact your child because he will feel shameful and ridiculed in front of others. Instead of yelling or beating your child, you behave like if you don’t have control over your child and try to understand his behavior. Once you have control over your child they will listen to you and conflict will not arise.
Incase you have any types of conflict with your children the best way to resolve that conflict is to sit with your child and tell them that you are sorry. Yes, you heard me right. They are not listening to you because you didn’t give them the attention and time that required and you were busy with your own schedule. Ask them what you can do to improve their condition and what they need their life instead of imposing your ego on them.
During the ten years of my online tutoring in Malaysia, I have seen many intelligent students not focusing on their studies just because they wanted something else in their lives but their parents forced them to pursue their own interests. Once I find out that I try to help the student to follow the path that I tell them to reach their future plans and believe me the same lazy students scored amazing results and their parents thank me latter.
About the Author:
Teacher Yuven was born and raised in Malaysia and is an accountant by profession. After completing his CA he worked in a bank as an accountant and at the same time is teaching IGCSE students online. He founded Pasxcel; leading Online IGCSE tuition provider in Malaysia in 2011 and since then he changed many student’s lives by introducing scientifically proven teaching methods that would make them intellectually intelligent and self-sufficient.
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