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Going through a divorce is almost always stressful. You're bound to experience a roller coaster of feelings, and it can be overwhelming. Taking some time to understand the process and to prepare can alleviate some of your anxiety and make the process more manageable. Here are seven things to consider when going through a divorce. Understanding them will help you to make more informed decisions.
1. It's Not a Contest
Sometimes couples approach divorce as a contest. They expect there to be one clear winner. The fact is, this rarely happens, especially when children are involved. One of the most important things to know before getting a divorce is that the process is difficult for everyone involved.
Dividing property and determining custody arrangements involves compromise and sacrifice from all sides. The best way for everyone to come out a winner is to work together when possible. Be prepared to understand that you probably won't get everything you want from your divorce case, and that's okay.
2. You Should Take Your Time
It can be tempting to rush through the divorce process to put it behind you or to avoid interacting with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse. However, this approach is often a mistake. Taking time to consider decisions carefully is your best bet, even if it means having difficult discussions and dealing with things you'd rather avoid. Investing the time now can save you heartache, frustration, or regret later.
3. Think of Your Children
If children are involved, take care to put their needs first. This is an incredibly emotional time. It's easy to say things or make decisions out of anger or hurt feelings. These types of behaviors can have a lasting detrimental effect on your kids. Take deep breaths and strive to make measured, careful moves in order to make the process as painless and stress-free as possible for the children. You may even want to consider counseling to help ease the process.
4. Focus on Your Experience
Chances are, you'll talk to friends or family members who will tell you about their divorces. Their experiences are bound to be different than yours. Try not to be overly influenced by the stories you hear. Doing so could lead to unnecessary stress or worry. It can even cause poor decision making on your part. Focus on your experience and listen to the advice of the professionals involved in your unique case.
5. Be Upfront and Honest
It's crucial that you seek the advice of an experienced divorce attorney. A quick google search of divorce attorney Sherman Oaks or wherever you live will give you a multitude of options to choose from. This step can keep you from making mistakes that could seriously impact your future. It's also important that you maintain honesty and transparency with your lawyer. Having all of the facts at hand will help them to best advise you.
You'll also need to be upfront with your spouse regarding everything related to the divorce. Hiding something or failing to disclose relative information can hurt you in the long run. Your best shot at achieving the best outcome is to be completely upfront about your circumstances.
6. Keep Records of Everything
Disputes over property and valuables can get ugly. The best way to prevent that from happening is to take written inventory. Keeping a record of everything you own as well as copies of important documents make it easier to prove worth and to split things fairly. You may want to take photos with a dated newspaper in the picture for added authenticity and strong evidence.
7. Maintain Realistic Expectations
You need to be realistic when going through a divorce. An understanding of the laws in your state can be provided by your legal counsel so that you better understand what to expect. In addition, being open to the types of compromises that will be necessary can keep you from becoming unnecessarily discouraged throughout the process. Know that this will be a trying time, but having an open mind can ease your stress and make things better overall.
Hopefully, these tips will help you to feel better about approaching your divorce. While things are sure to be difficult, they don't have to be overwhelming. Having an understanding of the process can provide you with a sense of control and a more optimistic outlook.