Would you like it when somebody tries to harm your family? No, right?
Just as I was lazing around with my big eyed cat breed.. her name is Crookshanks (Harry Potter nerd alert!)..we were hanging around on a beautiful, gorgeous sunny Sunday..Crooks was purring on my lap, licking my hand and I was watching Netflix..what a perfect way to celebrate my birthday..just then a doorbell rang..my office friends were at my doorstep, to surprise me on my birthday.
It might sound rude but I wasn't expecting company today..it was a Sunday..my lazy day..I see these fools five days a week and I don't wanna see these faces on the weekend as well! I wanted this day to be as quiet and peaceful as possible..but now, this was not possible. I had to shower and put on good clothes because many more people were invited(absolutely hate parties- the anti-social person in me is having a panic attack).
Anyway, the damage was already done..I reluctantly had to arrange a game night for them (they knew that I had PS5)..I ordered some beers, chips, pizza, sodas,lots of patience and a fake smile(sarcasm is my specialty). Ray and Yash(the people who came to surprise me) sat on the couch waiting for me to setup the Play Station, while they were chatting about office 'chicks'(why the hell am I friends with these fools)..suddenly my cat Crookshanks growled at them for sitting on her tail..this freaked both of them out...they got scared of Crooks(honestly, I am proud of her for doing this)..they yelled at the poor fellow and asked me to get rid of her.
Okay, this was the last straw..Crooks is my baby and I simply cannot tolerate this behavior towards her..firstly, I unplugged the Play Station, secondly ask both the monkeys to shut their foul mouths, get up and then yelled at them..I made sure that they get a piece of my mind
- This is Crookshank's home, she will not go anywhere.
- You are guests here, behave like one. Do not ask me to get rid of my baby.
- If I hit a hammer on your head, you will feel pain..isn't it? Similarly when you sat on Crook's tail, she will surely feel the pain,why won't she growl.
- Crooks is my baby and I love her more than you..if you cannot accept the fact then it is better that you leave.
- You know me very well..that I am not into parties and dancing around like a buffoon..why did you organize this? You have no idea that Crooks hate loud noises...I have to put in ear plugs in her ears.
- Crookshanks hates crowd, she gets scared and gets intimidated..now I have to keep her away because of you fools.
- You need to apologise to Crookshanks as you have hurt her and insulted her..see, she is still shaking...(with a death stare)
- If you want to stay..you need to be friends with her first..she doesn't bite, she just loves and licks you.
- Calling girls 'chicks' is so disrespectful..if you want to be friends with me please change your perspective towards women..they are not an object..they are human beings, like we are. (I wanted to say these things for so long but I avoided)
- You're means you are..do not confuse with 'your'..their usage is different.(Both of them make a lot of grammar mistakes which I was polite enough to ignore)
After my rather terrific warnings, my friends apologized to my Crooks and I..they even helped clearing stuff around the house after we were done eating(otherwise they wouldn't have moved their lazy asses off the couch). They might call me crazy cat man behind my back (even if they do this on my face, I would graciously accept this title)..still, I would never stop loving and adoring my Crookshanks.