Starting today, treat everyone you meet, friends or enemies, loved ones or strangers, as if they need your approval. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care, kindness, understanding, and love you can muster, and do it without thinking of any rewards. Your life will never be the same again. There is no greater existence than life that gives more than is needed. If you are in love, it will show. In your eyes, your face, the way you walk, the way you feel, it will show everything, because you are not the same person. You have been touched. The mind you want is not there. And here is a big problem.
Starting today, treat everyone you meet, friends or enemies, loved ones or strangers, as if they need your approval. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care, kindness, understanding, and love you can muster, and do it without thinking of any rewards. Your life will never be the same again. There is no greater existence than life that gives more than is needed.
If you are in love, it will show. In your eyes, your face, the way you walk, the way you feel, it will show everything, because you are not the same person. You have been touched. The mind you want is not there. And here is a big problem.
If you are only happy when you find a lover to fall in love with, your life and your relationship will be a disaster. Before you fell in love there was not the same experience, so you were basically walking incomplete without a lover. It's like that song "You are nobody until someone loves you", actually, that head space causes all our suffering.
It should say, "You are someone, if someone loves you." If you are a person before falling in love, and then you are another person after falling in love, there is dependence on this great experience, and that is the beginning of relationship problems. This is the first or second level of love, where there is significant confusion between love, need, rescue, and an antidepressant.
There are four substitutes for love. They are sex, food, religion and material greed. Many people cannot discern the difference between love and substitutes. They are in love with good sex or because their lover has a lot of wealth. This is because the same chemicals that are produced in the body when there is love are produced when we experience hope. So chemically, love hormones are secreted when we experience other forms of happiness, like falling in love, but hope is also a powerful aphrodisiac.
This is the reason that draws people together on the first, second, and third levels of love. Her hormones are running; They cannot say if it is love, infatuation or hope. Your body chemistry changes and you feel every "In LOVE" experience. But they are not in love. They are in solution. The solution to a problem is a substitute for love. This substitution is unsustainable. Attachment to your lover is highly emotional, highly conditional, it is the relationship made in hell, because there is great hope that love is there, but it is not really love, and it fails. They just weren't ready to be in love, because they weren't in love before they met their lover.
To be truly in love, we must learn to be in Amor without a partner, as well as with a partner. We must be "in love" without someone to love. It is a loving attitude towards life, towards the trees, the children and the sunsets alone; in love with a movie and in love with our parents. To be ready to fall in love, we must be in love with our past and our future.
When you are really in love with something in your life, you are ambivalent. In other words, it doesn't attract or repel you. You are not afraid or avoid it. That person or circumstance is part of you. They are you. You are them, they are the mirror and you can see yourself there. In this love, there is gratitude. You can thank someone, you are no longer trying to do the opposite of them; you are them You can fall in love with anyone if you choose. Of course, that doesn't mean you need a relationship with them. Love is a way of being in the world without reacting to it.
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